


Safe Interfacing

by NihilismBot



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Sexual Language, Slight Graphic Description of Medical Procedure, Unsafe Sex, Velocity Needs a Break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NihilismBot/pseuds/NihilismBot
Summary: Velocity wasn't fully prepared for everything she'd have to deal with in the medbay.A series of short stories.





	Safe Interfacing

Velocity was certain that she was getting the hang of the medbay on the Lost Light.

Rodimus got an accidental stab wound? Perfectly normal. Swerve wouldn't sit still and kept crying and complaining about pain **before** she actually stuck him with a needle? Not a problem. Whirl had to be physically dragged into the medbay and insisted that he was fine even while his arm was unattached? Easy.

But there was one thing she hadn't had to deal with. The bizarre injuries the crew sustained during their wild interface sessions.

Ratchet would be the first to go to her for such a problem. Ratchet **and** Drift.

“How did you two get these burns?” Velocity asked as she finished assessing the damage on Drift's plating.

Drift's facial plates heated up and he looked away shyly.

Ratchet rolled his optics. “Rodimus never learned to control his outlier abilities.” Ratchet shooed away Velocity as she began to examine him. “It's all superficial, we're just here because he insisted.”

Velocity frowned, feeling dismissed. “Drift, you only have some minor warping. A small patch should fix that, it will only take a moment.”

Drift was a model patient as Velocity applied the thin metal plate to cover the damage on his frame. Some slight buffing and the patch was seamless with the rest of his frame. He examined the repair and smiled. “Thank you, Velocity.”

The pair was about to leave the medbay when Drift turned to Velocity. “I know you wouldn't do this but, please don't mention this visit to the crew. Rodimus is sensitive about his abilities... Neither of us blame him but, well, he does.”

Velocity smiled, “Of course. It won't leave this office.”

They left, leaving Velocity alone with a single nagging thought, 'But **how** did Drift get a burn on his **spike**?”

–

“Do you have any scissors?” Rewind asked. He seemed to be in a hurry.

“There should be some in the desk.” Velocity was reviewing the latest medical texts, it was a surprisingly calm moment for the ship.

Rewind rummaged through the various draws in her desk. “No... Do you have anything sharper?” He shift his weight then added, “Also, how long until energon clots form? You know, hypothetically.”

Velocity stood up to look over the more intensive medical tools. “Well, for a healthy individual, clotting should begin within seconds.”

Rewind looked nervous. “No, not from a cut but like... If, hypothetically, you had your wrists tied up above your head.”

“Hmm... Thirty minutes? Again, it depends on the individual.” Velocity handed Rewind tin snips. “Will these do?”

“I hope so, thank you!” Rewind bolted out of the room.

“Remember to give those back!” Velocity called after him.

What a strange question.

–

“Ratchet!” The captain screamed for the chief medical officer

Velocity can running towards him. “Ratchet isn't in today, what seems to be the problem?”

All it took was a quick look to see the problem. In his arms, Megatron was carrying a very clearly injured Swerve. The minibot's legs were painfully splayed and no longer seemed properly attached to the rest of him.

Velocity immediately cleared a path towards the nearest medical berth for Megatron to place Swerve on. “Solus Prime!” Velocity exclaimed. “What happened?”

Swerve had a sheepish smile on his face, “It's not a big deal. I turned off my pain receptors so it only hurts when I look at it.”

That calmed Velocity down a small amount as she began properly assessing the damage to Swerve's frame. “How did this happen?”

Swerve nervously looked at Megatron and then at someone Velocity hadn't previously noticed in the medbay, Ultra Magnus. He looked back at Velocity and grinned wider, still nervous. “Too much of a good thing?”

Velocity turned her attention to the two larger bots. Magnus had his face in his hands and it didn't seem that she would get any information from him. Megatron's face plates were heated, but at least he didn't seem totally lost in embarrassment. “Captain! What happened to him?”

Megatron avoided her gaze, he coughed and looked away. “Swerve was...overly ambitious in his assessment of his personal capabilities...”

Checking for damage at the hip joints, Velocity growled, “What does that mean?!”

Then there was a mumbled response from the large bot slumped against the wall.

Velocity turned to look at Magnus, “What was that?”

“He...” the response turned back into an unintelligible murmur.

“Ultra Magnus,” Velocity's voice was stern, “What happened to Swerve?”

Magnus removed his hands from his face, “He said he could take both of us.” Immediately he covered his face again.

There was a brief silence as Velocity tried to make sense of what Magnus was trying to tell her. Take both of them? 'Them' probably meant Megatron and Magnus, but what was meant by 'Swerve said he could take Megatron and Magnus'?

The silence was interrupted by Swerve's awkward laughter, “I mean, I technically wasn't wrong? I could! Just not with my legs attached. Small detail, I was still right.”

Megatron glared at the minibot, “You're in no position to be proud of yourself.”

Swerve just grinned back, “And you're in no position to be mean to me.”

Megatron was taken aback by the statement and turned his head away from Swerve. “Just... Fix him, please.”

The pieces were slowly falling into place for Velocity. So, Swerve dislocated his legs by trying to...both Megatron and Magnus? How could he have possibly thought that was possible or a good idea?! She was going to need a drink after this.

Velocity looked down at her patient.

A drink at “Visages”.

–

“Knock knock!” a cheerful voice came from the entrance to the medbay.

Velocity turned to see Whirl standing in the doorway, cradling First Aid in his arms. The medic seemed unconscious. She immediately went to usher Whirl to an empty berth for First Aid. “What happened? Did you find him like this?”

Whirl looked around for a moment, “Sure.”

There was a slight dent on First Aid's helmet, likely the cause of his current state. “Do you think some one did this to him?”

“Why do you say that?” Whirl sounded offended.

First Aid should be fine, it was only a small hit. “Whirl... Did you do this to him?”

Whirl clicked his claws indignantly. “Obviously if I did, I wouldn't bring him here, would I?”

Maybe? She certainly wouldn't claim to understand Whirl's motives. As was standard procedure, Velocity continued to examine First Aid to be sure that the hit to the head was the only thing wrong. “How did he get these burns on his chest?”

Whirl shuffled from foot to foot, “That was probably his fault. Like, he was probably trying something stupid and hurt himself.”

“Whirl, what aren't you telling me?” Velocity narrowed her optics at the mech.

“Nothing he'd want me to tell you.” He thought for a moment, “Actually the head thing he might be okay with me saying but... Rather not.”

Velocity didn't shift her gaze from Whirl. He clearly knew what had happened, and obviously wanted to help First Aid, so why wasn't he giving her straight answers?

“He's gonna be fine, right? Can I go?” Whirl asked.

Her gaze lingered a bit longer, “If you want.”

“Great! I'll check in on him later maybe. Bye!” With that, Whirl cheerfully made his leave.

None of First Aid's damage was major and his system finished rebooting shortly after Whirl had left.

He rubbed his head as he slowly regained awareness, “Slag, Whirl, you need to be more careful.”

“So it was Whirl who did this to you!” Velocity exclaimed.

“Oh! Velocity!” First Aid looked around, “How did I get in the medbay?”

“Whirl carried you here. Care to explain what happened?” Velocity folded her arms.

“What did he tell you?”

Velocity frowned, “Very little. The best he offered was that the burns to your chest might have been your own fault.”

First Aid looked down and tentatively touched the burns on his vents. His face plates heated and he turned away from her. “They...may have been my fault.”

“What were you doing to cause these burns?”

“Me!” Velocity recognized the cheerful voice of Whirl. He hadn't been gone that long, was he really so worried for First Aid?

“...How did you cause electrical burns, Whirl?” Velocity asked.

“I didn't, I told you that. But you asked what he was doing and I tried to make a clever joke and it went over your head I guess,” Whirl shrugged.

Velocity looked to Whirl. “Then what did cause the burns?”

“Jumper cables,” said Whirl.

“Jumper cables?” Velocity turned to First Aid who was now covering his face with his hands. “And the hit to the head?”

Whirl scratched the back of his neck, “That one is on me.” Whirl lowered his voice suggestively, “See, I kinda lose control of my legs when he's-”

“WHIRL!” First Aid shouted. “He kicked me while we were sparring. Now I'm fine. In fact, I'm perfect, you're an excellent doctor, Velocity, I've never felt better.” First Aid jumped out of the berth. “Well, back to enjoying the rest of my day off!”

First Aid quickly stomped out of the room.

“Are you going to explain any of this to me?” Velocity asked.

“Nah,” Whirl shrugged, “I'm gonna help him enjoy the rest of his day off.”

Whirl started towards the door then stopped. “Actually, you have any ointment for electrical burns? I think we'll need more of that.”

–

“Hey, Ratchet, you bus-” Anode walked into the medbay and noticed Velocity doing inventory. “Oh, Lotty. Hey...” she dragged out the 'hey' as she started to walk, awkwardly, out of the room.

Anode was pushed back back into the room by a small red and white bot. “You brought this on yourself. I don't care who's in there,” said Lug.

Velocity crossed her arms and frowned, already sick of this visit. “What's the problem, Anode?”

“Well...” Anode looked to Lug who glared at her. “Okay, this will sound weird but, I was in the shower giving myself a thorough cleaning, right? I mean, I do a lot of adventuring so I get dirt in all sorts of weird places and I wanted to be sure that there was no dirt or grime in any of my joints. My point is, my panels were open because, again, thorough cleaning.”

Velocity nodded to encourage her to continue.

“Thing about showers though, they're slippery. I'm not paying attention and I slip on some soap. That wouldn't be a problem but, see, I was relaxing earlier in the shower with a nice bottle of engex and I left that bottle in there-”

“You drink engex in the shower?” Velocity interrupted.

Lug ex-vented, “While I'm certain most of this story is a lie, she does drink in the shower.”

“Lug! My sparkmate! My conjux! The love of my life! You don't believe me?” Anode put a hand to her chest looking outraged.

“Just finished telling your little story, sweetspark,” Lug smiled.

Anode pouted but continued. “I left the empty bottle in the shower and I slipped and, would you believe this, the bottle went right into my valve! I tried to get it out but, no good. I can't get this bottle out so... Mind helping out an old friend? This is pretty uncomfortable.” Anode smiled sheepishly.

Velocity rolled her eyes. “Surprisingly, this isn't the first time I've heard of this. I'm guess you 'fell' on the bottle with the opening facing up?”

Anode nodded.

“The bottle is being sucked into your valve. We need to adjust the air pressure to get it out. Let's go to the back.” Velocity extended her arm out to lead Anode and Lug to a more private area of the medbay.

As Anode got comfortable on the medical berth, as comfortable as she could with a bottle stuck in her valve, Velocity pulled Lug aside.

“She didn't slip did she?” Velocity asked.

Lug shrugged. “I wasn't there when she did this, if I was it wouldn't have happened. So, technically, she could be telling the truth but...”

Velocity gave a confused look, “But?”

“This probably won't be the last time you see her for something like this.

–

“Somebody! I need help!” Riptide can running into the medbay carrying Pipes in his arms. The smaller bot was bleeding profusely, energon leaking down Riptide's arm.

Velocity wasted no time in getting Pipes to a medical berth. “What happened?” she asked as she began to treat Pipe's injury.

“Well, we were in my room, right? And we start kissing, but it's hard because he's so much shorter than me so I lift him on to the berth and that makes it easier,” Riptide began his explanation.

Velocity started repairing the ruptured energon line in Pipe's upper thigh.

“But now he's on the berth and I'm, like, in between his thighs so I can feel his panel heating up against me and it's a huge turn on?”

“Riptide...” Pipes groaned from the berth, “I don't know if she needs the whole story.”

Riptide gently stroked Pipe's face, “You rest and worry about getting better.” He looked back at Velocity, “So, he opens up his panels and like, his valve is just **dripping** so how can I not lick that, right?”

The largest tear was repaired, which significantly slowed the bleeding. Now it was a matter of fixing the smaller tears and then patching up the main plating. “You can really skip ahead to how he got this injury,” Velocity winced.

“I'm almost there,” said Riptide, “So, I'm gonna eat him out, but I can't just do that right away, you have to tease him first! So I lick his thighs and like, he **loves** that so I'm feeling really good and he's feeling good so I keep going.”

Second tear fixed, “Please get to the point.”

“Well, I do directly lick his valve, you know, give him a piece of what's to come, but then I bite down on his thigh. Uh, thing is I have really sharp teeth and I bit harder than I meant to and so he starts bleeding really badly.”

“Alright, so this is from a bite. We just need to clean the wound thoroughly and keep an eye on it for infection-” Velocity was cut off by Riptide.

“I try to just lick up the energon because I'm trying to keep the mood, but there was a lot of blood so that wasn't really working. So I try and absorb it with a blanket but there's just so much energon and that's when I bring him here.”

Velocity rubbed her temple. “Okay, thank you Riptide.” She was almost done with the major repairs.

To her relief, Riptide watched in silence as she finished repairs on Pipes. She smiled as she looked at her patient, “You'll need to be careful until the patch fully integrates with the rest of your plating. It will take about one week, understand?”

Pipes looked at Riptide, “Does that mean no interfacing?”

She glared at them, “Yes.”

 


End file.
